Tag Archives: technique

The Three ‘D’s of Grief

#1 Dissociation
As you are well aware, there are many kinds of dissociation.  However, I have found that, fundamentally, dissociation refers to a disconnection between experience and emotion, or between mind and body. See if any of these dissociative remarks sound familiar:

Here is grieving client observation
— Number One:
“It’s like I’m outside of my body looking in.”
– Number Two:
“I have no idea what I’m feeling”

Dave, age 17, made a third dissociative observation when he stated, “I knew I should have felt something, but I didn’t feel anything.”  Dave was referring to an accidental cut to his hand which happened several days after his best friend, Jeremy, died from a drug overdose.  Dave stated, “It was a deep cut.  The doctor gave me 9 stitches.  At first, I just watched the blood flowing out.  I didn’t feel any fear or pain.  I knew what was going on,  I just didn’t care.  Then my mom saw it and she freaked.  Her scream sort of woke me up, I guess.”   Later on this track, I will describe a technique I suggested Dave use to avoid similar dissociation.

For #2 and #3 ‘D’s of Grief go to Grief Course.